How many dates before a relationship?

Getting into a relationship with someone is not something we decide on an easy go.  We go through the sieving process of whether we are mentally, emotionally and physically attracted to that person, or unless you are looking for a relationship with benefits.

The fluttery sensation you get in your tummy when you have eye contact with your date in the first stage of dating is always exciting; yet it can be missing the mark for love when it actually is infatuation. And we all know infatuation isn’t our long time friend.

So, before considering a relationship with someone, you want to make sure if you’ve learnt enough about the person you are about to date. Though we all have a list of requirements and expectations of our ideals, it all comes down to many shared values and understanding of that person.

While some couples slip into an official relationship effortlessly, others find it hard to wade through before making it exclusive. Many take into cognizance the number of dates one should have before entering into an official relationship, so it’s always wise not to have a fixed count necessarily because there’s no fixed rule nor a set of time frame.

Falling in love is a wonderful feeling! Regardless, there are signs one should look for before transitioning into a serious relationship mode. Let’s look at the basic 6 C’s.

Commonality: Common interest of each other is what sparks the beginning of a conversation in any relationship. It allows the partners to have curiosity about each other and thereby strengthening the time frame on the how’s and why’s of taking it forward to the next level. The more common things a couple have, the more likely they are to have a significantly better relationship. When you both enjoy the same interests, hobbies and passion, it will naturally keep the fun alive keeping your compatibility intact. Life just gets easier and more exciting when you’re on the same page. They say partners are happier when they are best friends and how else to form that bondship than two people sharing a common interest. Simply put, this kind of couple are less likely to have conflicts in a relationship as it can be solved through the layers of mutual compassion.

Communication: Communication is the key to any relationship as it brings people closer and helps them deal with relationship conflict, synchronously develop respect for each other. Communication in any way, may it be a simple text, finds its way to have a positive impact on edifying healthy relationships. It allows an individual to share their needs, concerns and support which in turn helps them to connect into a deeper sense of understanding. When we do not express nor reciprocate each other’s feelings and emotions, problems are bound to arise. If you are communicating well with your person, all is well.

Compatibility/Connection: Rarely do we form a connection with people like a blaze of flames, especially in relationships. Connections between two persons can forecast how your relationship will develop in the future. This complex concept of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual compatibility is what creates a long lasting partnership, but it’s also the choice of couples to find a common ground to co-exist with the differences. Do you share a similar mindset? Do you comprehend each other’s different perspectives in life? If your answer is in the affirmative, your compatibility is paving way for you to have a strong interdependent relationship.

Comfortability: Whether physical or emotional the state of being comfortable with your partner is an important element in a solid relationship. It lays the foundation of a stronghold trust in the other person. When you are comfortable ‘you can be you’ around the person you love. You have nothing to hide nor push an obligation to appease your significant other. Being comfortable is when you’re comfortable being uncomfortable. Others opinions and judgments won’t have a say on how you should feel towards each other. So, you do you and take hold of your own relationship like a boss.

Content: Many relationships don’t work out when one person does not meet the expectations of others as insensible as it may seem. Couples jump into the early stage of excitement blinded by uncertain feelings and fascination with another. This eventually leads to discontentment and disappointment in the other person. Being content means accepting each other’s flaws and feeling contentedly happy with who or what that person is. So it’s vital to identify and see the best in each other to build a firm starting point of intimate relationships.

Concrete shared goals: A healthy relationship blooms from a place of shared future. Having the same values and goals in life brings the partner together to build a futuristic life of two or more. Partners should understand enough about each other to feel and see that there’s a prospect ahead. And if you are sensing that there is a long term common goal in you both, no question asked, you can turn your casual dating to a serious relationship. As subjective as it may be to every individual, it’s right to bring up the “future talk” early on rather than waste time and energy on something that could have never developed. You don’t want to be left in the back burner because of your poor choice of comprehending what you really want and have.

Bottom line: What makes a relationship long lasting may go beyond whatever the 6 C’s are. It’s a matter of fact that everyone has a different perception of how a relationship or anything in particular should be. And the substantial question of how many dates before a relationship will have varied answers based on an individual’s uniqueness and peculiarity. So it all depends on if you’re willing to move forward based on your desires or what your heart is saying. It’s prudent not to reduce your credibility down to numbers and rules because your feelings and emotions aren’t built on a predetermined timeline. It’s better to learn how to date consciously and have a balanced relationship as clean as a salad.

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